After graduating in tourism, very proud, I went looking for a job. Therefore I registered in various job centres in Brussels. After a while, I started as a secretary at the European Parliament. This was a 3 months job. I didn’t have much to do and my boss was often away. When he was out of the office, I only had to answer the phone. I didn’t have to write letters. I soon got bored that I had so little to do. Afterwards, I realized that it was probably because of my lack of imagination due to my autism, that I couldn’t manage my time and couldn’t find another occupation whenever I had nothing to do. So when the end of my contract arrived, I went looking for another job that had been recommended by a friend.
So I had an interview, and one week later I went back to sign my contract.
However this job was too ambitious and difficult for me, I didn’t imagine this at all when I went sollicitating. I was enthusiastic when I started that job. I was sure that everything would go well, would be great.
I worked as a business assistant in a company that creates and hosts websites. The first few weeks it was great because I had a lot of support from my colleagues, I knew what I had to do. But after a while, I had the impression that I wasn’t doing enough because they weren’t as enthusiastic as they were in the beginning. They wanted me to take initiatives. I had to see for myself what had to be done, the priority of the things that had to be done. I had to answer the phone, getting in touch with clients and suppliers, translate and doing research.
Taking initiatives is most of the time very difficult for me. When I know exactly what I have to do, when it has to be finished or when I get precise instructions, then my work is really well done.
During this time, I lived independently. I had to take care of myself, my apartment (cleaning, paying the bills, and so on), prepare dinner, and ensure that I get on time at work.
It wasn’t easy to do all that. I had wanted so much to be independent, to have my own job, my apartment, my car, my friends but when I got it all, I didn’t know how to manage my independence. I got stuck in my independence.
It was difficult and it completely exhausted me.
I’d just turned 25. I felt lonely at work. I didn’t feel accepted. I felt lonely at my flat. I had no friends. I had no hobbies.